Share The Feeling
1/17/2012
6/17/2011
Spotting the warning signs of discouragement
Discouragement is one of the fastest routes to defeat. I would even say that it is the most deadly factor to watch out for when you are in pursuit of a goal. Discouragement is so lethal because it creeps into your mind using seemingly rational arguments and then grows like wildfire into crippling indecisiveness and self-doubt that prevents you from achieving your dreams.
For example a woman who has a dream of running a successful restaurant may have trouble getting a significant number of customers to her restaurant and consider closing her restaurant now in order to cut her losses. That is where it starts, with compromising. The idea of giving up her restaurant makes sense considering the economic climate and lack of customers. However, just because it makes sense does not mean its right. The problem is perpetuated as she goes back and forth between her decision to keep her restaurant or give it up. This state of indecisiveness is like dealing with the devil, he uses seemingly rational arguments to add more weight to the decision of giving up. During this battle with the devil, doubt enters her mind as she realizes the small percentage of people who actually become successful in operating their own restaurant. She begins to think that she is not good enough or may even feel that she is an unlucky individual who is always going to be doomed for failure. At this point the discouragement has become so strong that it entices her to give up on her dream.
If you find yourself slipping down the slide of discouragement, quickly reaffirm to yourself your goals and come up with sound plans to achieve them. If you are not getting the results you desire, don't give up by changing your desire, but change your plan in getting what you desire. Too often we use our own rationale against us by looking at the past and facts and figures to tell us what we can't do. Let's change the role of our rational thinking in our lives from one that is discouraging to one that is empowering by helping us form sound and reasonable plans to accomplish our goals.
For example a woman who has a dream of running a successful restaurant may have trouble getting a significant number of customers to her restaurant and consider closing her restaurant now in order to cut her losses. That is where it starts, with compromising. The idea of giving up her restaurant makes sense considering the economic climate and lack of customers. However, just because it makes sense does not mean its right. The problem is perpetuated as she goes back and forth between her decision to keep her restaurant or give it up. This state of indecisiveness is like dealing with the devil, he uses seemingly rational arguments to add more weight to the decision of giving up. During this battle with the devil, doubt enters her mind as she realizes the small percentage of people who actually become successful in operating their own restaurant. She begins to think that she is not good enough or may even feel that she is an unlucky individual who is always going to be doomed for failure. At this point the discouragement has become so strong that it entices her to give up on her dream.
If you find yourself slipping down the slide of discouragement, quickly reaffirm to yourself your goals and come up with sound plans to achieve them. If you are not getting the results you desire, don't give up by changing your desire, but change your plan in getting what you desire. Too often we use our own rationale against us by looking at the past and facts and figures to tell us what we can't do. Let's change the role of our rational thinking in our lives from one that is discouraging to one that is empowering by helping us form sound and reasonable plans to accomplish our goals.
6/14/2011
The importance of having passion
Passion is the driving force behind life. Passion is the difference between a person who is constantly looking at the clock dreading how much time they have left before getting off of work and the person who looks up at the clock after being consumed by their work and says 'man where did all that time go.'
I encourage everyone to find their passion. Your passion comes from who you truly are and allows you an avenue to express it. Ask yourself this question 'What do I like to do, what is the productive thing that I spend hours doing for absolutely no pay or any other benefit aside from making myself happy?' The answer to this question is more than likely your passion. People who make their passion their career are bound to be successful because they give their all to it which ensures that the consumer is going to get the best product. Even if you decide not to make your passion your career, I encourage you to still devote time to it so that you may experience the vitality of life that only passion can bring to it.
I encourage everyone to find their passion. Your passion comes from who you truly are and allows you an avenue to express it. Ask yourself this question 'What do I like to do, what is the productive thing that I spend hours doing for absolutely no pay or any other benefit aside from making myself happy?' The answer to this question is more than likely your passion. People who make their passion their career are bound to be successful because they give their all to it which ensures that the consumer is going to get the best product. Even if you decide not to make your passion your career, I encourage you to still devote time to it so that you may experience the vitality of life that only passion can bring to it.
6/13/2011
Overcoming Anxiety
We all go through stressful times and there are often days where we have no idea how we are going to be able to overcome the obstacles that are thrown at us, but know that you will persevere. Know it and believe it with all of your heart. Giving into anxiety and constantly worrying about the future will only make matters worse. I understand that you may already know that and have probably heard it a billion times, but you have to accept it as truth.
Whenever I begin to feel anxious or start having doubts about myself and my future, I try to remember that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for me. Even if you are not religious, realize that nothing is going to be thrown at you that you can't handle. Instead of looking at what is causing your anxiety as something bad, look at it as an opportunity to grow. Just like the old saying the 'the night is darkest right before the dawn' The greatest achievements are often made right after the time that appears most hopeless. Instead of focusing on what is worrying you, focus on the fact that when it is all said and done you will be successful. Even if an event does not go your way, realize that it is a stepping stone on your road to victory and look to your future, not with anxiety, but with excitement.
Whenever I begin to feel anxious or start having doubts about myself and my future, I try to remember that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for me. Even if you are not religious, realize that nothing is going to be thrown at you that you can't handle. Instead of looking at what is causing your anxiety as something bad, look at it as an opportunity to grow. Just like the old saying the 'the night is darkest right before the dawn' The greatest achievements are often made right after the time that appears most hopeless. Instead of focusing on what is worrying you, focus on the fact that when it is all said and done you will be successful. Even if an event does not go your way, realize that it is a stepping stone on your road to victory and look to your future, not with anxiety, but with excitement.
Overcoming shyness
Shyness is a crippling mindset that paralyzes its victims preventing them from going out and enjoying all that life has to offer. It does this by instilling a tremendous fear into the persons mind that becomes so real to them that they feel the need to escape the situation that is causing them distress at all cost. If you are shy you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Shyness is something that I personally battle and I know how hard it can be to put that fear in its place, but IT IS POSSIBLE. Do not get discouraged if you do not get over your shyness over night, for most people it is a process that is marked by gradual process.
The first step in the process is to stop viewing yourself as a shy person. What I used to do was describe myself as shy. Whether it was verbally or mentally I would put shyness on my list of character traits. I told myself this and believed it, therefore it became my reality. Now instead of constantly telling myself that I am shy, I tell myself that I am outgoing and sure enough I have gradually become more of what I thought.
As I said before, overcoming your shyness is a process, so in order to succeed you must work on it EVERYDAY. Everyday do at least one thing that your fear is telling you not to do. Even simply saying 'hi' to a stranger is a good start. The key here is to consistently stand up to that fear until it no longer becomes a factor in your decision making.
Now conquering this fear may be difficult and there may be times were you stumble and fall back into your old ways, but be PERSISTENT. You can and WILL CONQUER YOUR SHYNESS if you choose to. History is littered with famous and successful people who were able to overcome their shyness, so why not you. There is too much life to live to be stuck in your own cocoon of fear.
For a list of famous people who overcame their shyness visit http://www.shakeyourshyness.com/shypeople.htm
Shyness is something that I personally battle and I know how hard it can be to put that fear in its place, but IT IS POSSIBLE. Do not get discouraged if you do not get over your shyness over night, for most people it is a process that is marked by gradual process.
The first step in the process is to stop viewing yourself as a shy person. What I used to do was describe myself as shy. Whether it was verbally or mentally I would put shyness on my list of character traits. I told myself this and believed it, therefore it became my reality. Now instead of constantly telling myself that I am shy, I tell myself that I am outgoing and sure enough I have gradually become more of what I thought.
As I said before, overcoming your shyness is a process, so in order to succeed you must work on it EVERYDAY. Everyday do at least one thing that your fear is telling you not to do. Even simply saying 'hi' to a stranger is a good start. The key here is to consistently stand up to that fear until it no longer becomes a factor in your decision making.
Now conquering this fear may be difficult and there may be times were you stumble and fall back into your old ways, but be PERSISTENT. You can and WILL CONQUER YOUR SHYNESS if you choose to. History is littered with famous and successful people who were able to overcome their shyness, so why not you. There is too much life to live to be stuck in your own cocoon of fear.
For a list of famous people who overcame their shyness visit http://www.shakeyourshyness.com/shypeople.htm
6/12/2011
It is all up to you
I can sit here and give you encouragement all day long, you can even listen to the top psychiatrist and motivational speakers till kingdom come, but your life won't change until YOU decide to change it and YOU CAN CHANGE IT.
Improve your mood by doing chores
Have you ever noticed that after you do the dishes, mow the lawn, or finish any other task you start to feel good. Yes you may be a little tired, but overall you are feeling pretty proud of yourself. This is because being productive gives us a sense of accomplishment. With accomplishment comes a greater feeling of self-worth, we become proud of ourselves for getting things done and contributing to something good.
Now I am sure you're wandering why if accomplishing tasks makes people feel so good, how come everyone always try and avoid it? The reason is because, lets face it, doing the task is not always fun. Too many people dread the work that goes into the task and fail to realize the great feeling of accomplishment that takes place afterwards. That is why people's to do list constantly build up. They focus on the negative aspects of what they have to do, such as how much time it will take or how hard it will be and allow the voice of laziness persuade them to put it off. Laziness gives the person EXCUSES to not do what they need to do and convinces them that being a sloth will make them feel better. LAZINESS IS THE ENEMY. If you chooses to listen to laziness the to do list of one or two things quickly multiplies itself causing yourself more anxiety than it needs to. That is why it is so important that when you have a list of tasks to do, no matter how big, that you pick one and finish it. Finishing a single task will give you that sense of accomplishment and give you energy to keep accomplishing what you need to do until you finally finish everything on the list.
What I have come to realize is, that IT IS EASY TO FEEL BAD. It is easy to let laziness overcome you and have you lay in bed all day being unproductive. In order to obtain happiness you must make a CHOICE and be determined to not let laziness consume you so that you can go out and accomplish what is necessary to achieve your goals..
Now I am sure you're wandering why if accomplishing tasks makes people feel so good, how come everyone always try and avoid it? The reason is because, lets face it, doing the task is not always fun. Too many people dread the work that goes into the task and fail to realize the great feeling of accomplishment that takes place afterwards. That is why people's to do list constantly build up. They focus on the negative aspects of what they have to do, such as how much time it will take or how hard it will be and allow the voice of laziness persuade them to put it off. Laziness gives the person EXCUSES to not do what they need to do and convinces them that being a sloth will make them feel better. LAZINESS IS THE ENEMY. If you chooses to listen to laziness the to do list of one or two things quickly multiplies itself causing yourself more anxiety than it needs to. That is why it is so important that when you have a list of tasks to do, no matter how big, that you pick one and finish it. Finishing a single task will give you that sense of accomplishment and give you energy to keep accomplishing what you need to do until you finally finish everything on the list.
What I have come to realize is, that IT IS EASY TO FEEL BAD. It is easy to let laziness overcome you and have you lay in bed all day being unproductive. In order to obtain happiness you must make a CHOICE and be determined to not let laziness consume you so that you can go out and accomplish what is necessary to achieve your goals..
Simple Truths of Disneyland
Last week I went to Disneyland and I could not help but marvel at all of the imagination that went into making this one man's dream a reality. As soon as you cross the ticket lines and step into Disneyland you are literally walking into Walt Disney's world. His dreams, ideas, and visions are all made real to the visitors that come in to explore it. All through out the day, as I rode on the rides and saw the various attractions, I wondered to myself how all of this was possible, how this one man could create an entire world that is enjoyed by people of all ages generations after his death. Before my family and I left the park, we watched the firework finale and it all became clear to me.
During the firework show music and soundbites of various Disney characters were played in order to accompany the amazing lights in the sky. The reoccurring theme of what the characters were saying was simple, "BELIEVE AND YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE". That's when it hit me. How could I not I see this before, it was so obvious. Believe it and it will come true. That's when I realized amidst all of the bright colors and cartoon characters that this is a truth that we all know and fully embrace as a child.
It is funny how something so simple that we learn it as a child is forgotten by the vast majority of teens and adults. Somewhere along the line someone tells us that we can't do something; that believing in your dreams is childish and for whatever reason we believe them. A great quote from the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" is when Chris Gardner, portrayed by Will Smith, tells his son "If people can't do something themselves, they want to tell you you can't do it." Unfortunately this is often the case. Some people let the world beat them down so much that there is nothing left for them but to destroy the dreams of others. It is a sick cycle of defeat that continually forces itself upon the younger generation, crushing dreams before they ever have the chance of becoming a reality. Instead of letting this continue, let's fight back against this negative cycle, embrace our childhood nature, and reclaim our belief in our dreams so that they will come true.
During the firework show music and soundbites of various Disney characters were played in order to accompany the amazing lights in the sky. The reoccurring theme of what the characters were saying was simple, "BELIEVE AND YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE". That's when it hit me. How could I not I see this before, it was so obvious. Believe it and it will come true. That's when I realized amidst all of the bright colors and cartoon characters that this is a truth that we all know and fully embrace as a child.
It is funny how something so simple that we learn it as a child is forgotten by the vast majority of teens and adults. Somewhere along the line someone tells us that we can't do something; that believing in your dreams is childish and for whatever reason we believe them. A great quote from the movie "The Pursuit of Happiness" is when Chris Gardner, portrayed by Will Smith, tells his son "If people can't do something themselves, they want to tell you you can't do it." Unfortunately this is often the case. Some people let the world beat them down so much that there is nothing left for them but to destroy the dreams of others. It is a sick cycle of defeat that continually forces itself upon the younger generation, crushing dreams before they ever have the chance of becoming a reality. Instead of letting this continue, let's fight back against this negative cycle, embrace our childhood nature, and reclaim our belief in our dreams so that they will come true.
Where there is a will there is a way
One of my favorite sayings is "Where there is a will, there is a way." I like it because I believe it to be true and it is empowering. Just think of all the wonders that we have in the world today. Humans had the will to fly, talk to people across the globe from your own living room, and even go to space. For each and everyone of these wills man has found a WAY to make it happen.
This just goes to show the power of the human mind, if all of these amazing feats were capable of being done, what is to say that your dream is unattainable. No matter how far fetched the dream may seem; "Where there is a will there is a way". Can you imagine what people would have said a hundred years ago, if you were to tell them about the technology that we have today. They would think that you are crazy. As with anyone with a dream I am sure that you have come across naysayers who assert that your dream is impossible. The problem with the naysayers is that they rely to heavily on the past. If they have never seen this dream accomplished or hold false beliefs that only a lucky, select few, ever achieve success then they are bound to shoot down any idea of the future that challenges what they have seen in the past.
People have the ability to create their own future despite the events of the past. Instead of continually looking to the past as justification for who you are and as an indicator of what the future will bring, look at what you desire to become and find a way to make it happen.
This just goes to show the power of the human mind, if all of these amazing feats were capable of being done, what is to say that your dream is unattainable. No matter how far fetched the dream may seem; "Where there is a will there is a way". Can you imagine what people would have said a hundred years ago, if you were to tell them about the technology that we have today. They would think that you are crazy. As with anyone with a dream I am sure that you have come across naysayers who assert that your dream is impossible. The problem with the naysayers is that they rely to heavily on the past. If they have never seen this dream accomplished or hold false beliefs that only a lucky, select few, ever achieve success then they are bound to shoot down any idea of the future that challenges what they have seen in the past.
People have the ability to create their own future despite the events of the past. Instead of continually looking to the past as justification for who you are and as an indicator of what the future will bring, look at what you desire to become and find a way to make it happen.
6/10/2011
Deciding to be Happy
Yep that's right just decide. Say "From now on I am going to be happy." and BELIEVE IT. If you really think about it, happiness is nothing more than a state of mind just like sadness, anger, and any other emotion. Too many people have relinquished control of their emotions and base how they feel on external events. These events only have an effect on your mood if you let them. That is why one person who steps in dog poop can remain cheery, while another person can be thrust into a fit of rage. What is really determining the mood, or level of happiness, of these two people is their reaction to what happened to them. While the guy who remained happy makes a joke out of the scenario and views it as an opportunity to have cleaner shoes once he washes them, the angry person focuses on how it smells and how much time it will take to clean the shoes. Both people experienced the same event, but while one let it put him in a negative mood, the other decided to remain happy.
Being Grateful
It is important that we are thankful for the good things in our life. It is easy to get caught up in what you don't have, but true joy comes from being happy with what you have. And why not? There is so much that we take for granted, the world is full of miracles that we overlook because we have become so accustomed to it.
I am not going to deem any of your problems as trivial by giving you the whole 'be grateful because things could be worse' argument, but seriously, right now, pick out five things that you are thankful for. It can be as simple as being thankful for having lungs to breathe or that you have access to the internet so that you can read this awesome blog ;) Once you have this list embrace it and feel warm for all the good that this life has given you. You will also find that the more often you feel good about what you have, all of the things that aren't so great or that could be better will slowly begin to improve because you are now focusing on the positive instead of the negative.
I am not going to deem any of your problems as trivial by giving you the whole 'be grateful because things could be worse' argument, but seriously, right now, pick out five things that you are thankful for. It can be as simple as being thankful for having lungs to breathe or that you have access to the internet so that you can read this awesome blog ;) Once you have this list embrace it and feel warm for all the good that this life has given you. You will also find that the more often you feel good about what you have, all of the things that aren't so great or that could be better will slowly begin to improve because you are now focusing on the positive instead of the negative.
Overcoming Indecisiveness
Often times I get stuck trying to figure out my next plan of action that I end up wasting a lot of time sitting still and getting nothing done. I know what I want as the final result, but I get stuck on choosing from the variety of paths that are laid in front of me. What I am starting to realize is the best way to fix this issue is to simply DO. It is not the action that you choose to take that is important, rather that you do actually take action. It is like the old saying "All roads lead to Rome". Yes some roads are quicker than others, but you are a lot better off traveling the long road then spending all of your time trying to decide which path is the shortest.
This also applies to people who spend all their time trying to prepare to do something, but never actually do it. Too often people will tell themselves that they are not ready for an event so they will continue studying or practicing something while putting off the task that they are preparing for. This is not to say that studying and practice is not important, however, there comes a time where you have to put everything that you learned to the test. The best way to learn is through experience and the only way to gain that experience is to take action.
This also applies to people who spend all their time trying to prepare to do something, but never actually do it. Too often people will tell themselves that they are not ready for an event so they will continue studying or practicing something while putting off the task that they are preparing for. This is not to say that studying and practice is not important, however, there comes a time where you have to put everything that you learned to the test. The best way to learn is through experience and the only way to gain that experience is to take action.
6/09/2011
Instant Mood Booster
Try this out, put on your favorite song that gets you hyped up and ready to take on the world, close your eyes, and visualize yourself having everything that you desire. Whether it is that brand new car, a family vacation, a million bucks, or a beautiful spouse to share your life with, close your eyes and envision that it is all yours.
Yes I know that it may sound crazy and some of you may even feel silly doing it, but I guarantee that it will instantly boost your mood and get you ready to make everything that you envisioned a reality. Just moments before writing this article, I felt lazy and unmotivated. I started to fall back into my old habit of telling myself that I cannot accomplish my goals. I felt this getting stronger and I knew that it would only lead to more unnecessary sadness, so in order to combat it I turned on the music, (this part is very important the music will help put you back in a positive state of mind) began envisioning all of my goals, and bam! I regained my positive feeling and am back to work. So the next time you feel those negative feelings creeping up on you give it a try, I promise it won't let you down.
Yes I know that it may sound crazy and some of you may even feel silly doing it, but I guarantee that it will instantly boost your mood and get you ready to make everything that you envisioned a reality. Just moments before writing this article, I felt lazy and unmotivated. I started to fall back into my old habit of telling myself that I cannot accomplish my goals. I felt this getting stronger and I knew that it would only lead to more unnecessary sadness, so in order to combat it I turned on the music, (this part is very important the music will help put you back in a positive state of mind) began envisioning all of my goals, and bam! I regained my positive feeling and am back to work. So the next time you feel those negative feelings creeping up on you give it a try, I promise it won't let you down.
Quotes on being lonely
The following quotes were collected in order to encourage someone who is lonely to conquer this negative feeling and embrace a life of fulfilling love.
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France
"Relentless, repetitive self talk is what changes our self-image." - Dennis Waitley
"What loneliness is more lonely than distrust." - T.S. Elliot
"A hug is like a boomerang; you get it back right away." Bil Keane
"Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for" - Dag Hammarskjold
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France
"Relentless, repetitive self talk is what changes our self-image." - Dennis Waitley
"What loneliness is more lonely than distrust." - T.S. Elliot
"A hug is like a boomerang; you get it back right away." Bil Keane
"Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for" - Dag Hammarskjold
Persistence: Pushing forward despite difficulty
This is a character trait that I need to work on. It is easy to say "yes" I am going to do something, the real challenge is following through and seeing the task to the end. What often happens with me is that I will hear an inspirational speech and get psyched up to do something only to have that immense feeling of energy and being able to take over the world disappear the next day. I have been trying to find ways to keep that energy going continually and what I have found it boils down to is PERSISTENCE.
Persistence gives one the ability to continue moving forward towards their goals, no matter what obstacles come their way. With me it is often laziness or a lack of faith that my dream or goal will actually come to fruition that will kill the "conquer the world" energy that was given to me by the motivational speaker. If I strengthen my persistence by continually focusing and reciting my goals to myself, I will be able to put negative thoughts and laziness in its place and persevere to accomplish my goals.
If anyone else has tips on how they keep persistence in achieving their goals, please leave a comment.
Persistence gives one the ability to continue moving forward towards their goals, no matter what obstacles come their way. With me it is often laziness or a lack of faith that my dream or goal will actually come to fruition that will kill the "conquer the world" energy that was given to me by the motivational speaker. If I strengthen my persistence by continually focusing and reciting my goals to myself, I will be able to put negative thoughts and laziness in its place and persevere to accomplish my goals.
If anyone else has tips on how they keep persistence in achieving their goals, please leave a comment.
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